


I didn't mean it.

by hwiwon



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Platonic Relationships, hello sf9nators im coming with That Hwiwon Content, hwiwon rise, i love hwiwon, im sorry, slightly ooc btw i thin k...., the boys were there but they werent mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 18:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14291238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwiwon/pseuds/hwiwon
Summary: He never had to apologize before for teasing him, he liked to think their relationship was good enough for Youngkyun to just know henevermeans anything by the things he says. Besides, it wasn't like it was his first time saying that kind of stuff.





	I didn't mean it.

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me Lord this is lame but I love hwiwon.  
> English isn't my first language so please be gentle, my heart is weak.  
> Also, I don't think youngkyun is that self-conscious about his gummy smile anymore?? which is great because he's so precious and l love him.

Sanghyuk wanted to know the _exact_ moment back in the interview where it all went wrong. Sure, he teased the younger _a lot_. He couldn't remember a time where he didn't find something to say that would at least _slightly_ annoy Youngkyun; he was his usual target because it was just so much fun to watch him get really flustered and they both knew he never really meant anything by it. Youngkyun knew that, he knew that it wasn't really _that deep_.  
Until one day it was.  
"I've told him, hyung, multiple times actually! I've told him just how much it annoys me when he mentions the smile _bullshit_ on broadcasts!" Youngkyun started cursing as soon as they stepped at the safety of the dorms, where he finally could stop pretending that everything was okay just for the sake of the amount of cameras on him.  
"Careful with your words" Youngbin said, already massaging his temples, things were escalating pretty quickly and he was just so tired to deal with this right now. "Just talk it out." Youngbin directed his next words to Sanghyuk. " _Fix it._ "  
Sanghyuk sighed, " _Youngkyun..._ "  
" _Shut up_ " the younger hissed. "Just shut the fuck up for once."  
Everyone started to slowly retreat to their respective rooms, Chanhee's eyes going from his hyung to his best friend trying to gauge if the situation was going to get worse, and Taeyang falling behind just for a bit to make sure Youngkyun was alright.  
"You okay?" he murmured, not really caring about the pointed look their hyung was giving him.  
"We're going to talk it out, if you would just please leave us _alone_ " he didn't intend to sound harsh but it came out like that and he really didn't care at the moment.  
"Sure, hyung" Taeyang didn't spare a glance towards him, patting Youngkyun's head in support and then he was out of sight.  
Once everyone cleared the room, the discomfort was almost palpable between the two boys. Sanghyuk knew he had to say something, to do something, knew that he had to fix it somehow, but apologizing just wasn't in him. He never had to apologize before for teasing him, he liked to think their relationship was good enough for Youngkyun to just know he never means anything by the things he says. Besides, it wasn't like it was his first time saying that kind of stuff.  
"You're not going to apologize, are you?" the younger was the first one to speak.  
Sanghyuk flinched a bit, not even caring about the lack of honorifics, their relationship was close like that, but what did startle him was his tone; it was calm, _too calm_ , he almost expected for the young boy to start screaming again.  
"Why would I apologize when-"  
"You're such an _asshole_ " Youngkyun laughed but it was hollow. "This is why most of the times _no one_ here can stand you, this is why I wanted to change roommates so bad... _This is why I prefer Taeyang hyung anyways_."  
That stung, _and bad_.  
"I know you prefer him, you've said it before" he remembered that one Fan PD show and a breathy laugh escaped his lips, he was trying _so hard_ to not let it show just how bad those words hurt. "You think I care or something?"  
That response seemed to infuriate the younger more. "Of course you don't, _assholes_ like you don't give a fuck about other people" his eyes were already teary. Youngkyun hated confrontations so much. He was tired and he just wanted his hyung to understand why he was so upset. "Why do I care so much about what you think anyways?"  
"I didn't even say anything bad. I said your gummy smile was cute. Why are you so worked up over it?"  
"Because _I hate it_ and _you know it_ " he whispered. "You know how much I hate it when you mention it and they make me smile like _that_ " the words so weak, his insecurities taking all of his strength.  
"But it's-"  
"Stop saying it's cute! I don't care if you think it's cute! Do you realize this isn't about what _you_ think? This is about what _I_ feel!"  
It was just one of those days where he wasn't feeling like himself at all. Youngkyun has been having one too many of those days lately and he was really sensitive about stuff that he normally wouldn't mind. He knew that. Things like this never really bothered him before, always taking it on the playful side. He understood his hyung's confusion to some extent, but he just really needed him to validate the way he was feeling right now.  
He didn't realize he was crying until arms wrapped around his slim body and he found himself sobbing on the crook of his hyung's neck.  
Suddenly everything was too much.  
Tears were wetting the skin there but Sanghyuk wasn't going to let go. He fucked up and, for once, he desperately needed to fix it. Whispering sweet nothings into the younger's ear, he patiently waited for him to calm down so they could have a proper conversation. The young boy sniffled a few times then he slipped out of his hyung's embrace. They barely initiated skinship like this, and he felt a bit out of place.  
"I'm sorry" Sanghyuk's voice was soft, he tried looking for Youngkyun's face and he felt so bad seeing his blotchy eyes, seeing him upset like that definitely kicked his guts. He just wanted to make him feel better. "Of course I know it doesn't matter what I think, I shouldn't have put you through that kind of situation. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, I promise. From now on I'll try to refrain from saying stuff like that."  
Youngkyun shifted his weight from foot to foot. All Sanghyuk could think at that moment was that he seemed _so young_ and _so vulnerable_ , and it was all his fault.  
"I'm really sorry" he didn't know what else to say, he just hoped it was enough.  
Apparently it was. His breath caught in his throat when the young boy looked up and a small smile was plastered on his face.  
"I know, hyung."  
"Oh, so I'm your hyung again?" he teased lightly, God knows he couldn't help it.  
"Shut up, you're so annoying" Youngkyun was laughing but Sanghyuk grimaced a bit. The younger sensed his distress right away.  
"I didn't mean what I say about-"  
"It's okay, don't worry about it."  
"And for the record, I don't prefer Taeyang hyung over you" he said softly.  
"It's okay if you do, I prefer Chanhee anyways."  
Youngkyun smacked his arm. "No you don't, liar."  
"Yeah, yeah... Of course I don't, you'll always be my favorite."  
"You're kind of in love with me, did you know?"  
Sanghyuk breathed a laugh. "You're such a brat."  
"You deserve it."  
"That's fair."  
" _I love you, hyung_."  
" _Love you too, kid_."

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE forgive me that was short and kind of lame but... some platonic!hwiwon to start because why the f uck not ?? not everything has to be strictly romantic i think ??  
> If you want to comment that'd be really nice!


End file.
